So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
