So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
