apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
