Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
