another moral hangover. fuck.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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