We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
