Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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