i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
