So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
