I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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