it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
