need another drink. this is the easiest way
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
