True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You have to summon your inner elephant
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
