Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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