So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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