Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you mean i was at the winter classic?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
