So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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