I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
