Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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