i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
