At least make sure they are 18
Why
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
a search helicopter?!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
