didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
