if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
