I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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