You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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