My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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