I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
