Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
