is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
