I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
