I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
