i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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