He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
