In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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