I CAN MOONWALK!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
