Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
