That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
