what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
