I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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