T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
