I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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