You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
