I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
