she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
