Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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