I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
