dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
