I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
