Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
