Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
