how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
