So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
