how can u be prego again
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
