tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
