question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize